Just a quick update on my appointment this past Tuesday. It was relatively uneventful. Tried to hear the heart beat but at only 13 weeks 2 days, the doctor had no luck finding it. Otherwise the appointment was pretty basic. I was given the news that I can choose between a repeat c-section or try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). I have to make up my mind by my next appointment in May.
I actually thought the decision was going to be a lot easier. I have done all the research and for the most part a VBAC safer than a c-section, but I guess with all the drama around Olivia's birth I have a lot of self doubt I didn't realize was there until I faced with this decision. I am absolutely 100% petrified of labour, which I had no worries about with Olivia. I thought (stupidly, I might add) that people just went into labour, dealt with the pain and pushed out babies. I never once expected not to go into labour, to be induced 3 times, go through all that labour to end up having a c-section. I really should not complain because I had a wonderful healthy baby but that was definitely not what I expected childbirth to be like. This time, I find myself going into the situation with a lot of doubt. Doubt that I will actually go into labour on mine own, doubt that I will be able to handle it, doubt that I won't end up in surgery despite my best efforts.
Sorry, this may seem like a bunch of random ramblings but I hoping that putting my thoughts and fears into writing may help me overcome them and make this huge decision. I think the decision would be easier if I had already had a vaginal birth because I would understand how much faster you heal, how much easier things are afterwards and how much accomplishment you feel after giving birth. To me, these are just words I've read on paper, things that I thought I would know and feel after Olivia. After my c-section, I just accepted it for what it was, surgery to get the kid out because otherwise she might still be in there :) I couldn't complain, I felt good, healed really well and had the beautiful baby girl that I waited 10 long months for.
I will keep you posted on what I finally decide, either way I know it will be what I decide is right for me. More pictures and posts after Easter this weekend.
Happy Easter to all!!
1 comment:
Aw, that is a big decision Candace! I am sure you will make the right one. Just try to do what you think will be easiest for the baby. Some Moms want to put on a brave face and try the whole VD thing but if there is any complications (even with your sanity, lol) then just do what will be best for you and baby. Youll make the right call...Mommies always do!
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